Whole Wheat Apple Muffins with Cardamom and Ginger

 

Every year I dread the end of summer.  I scowl in the face of Autumn's approach.  I whine about the coming cold, my heart sinks with the turn of the first leaves.  And then, it happens.  I fall in love.  The crisp air clears my mind, the dancing leaves hearken my inner child, the colors inspire.  

Last Thursday, Jordan and I finally scrounged up the time for a hike.  Nothing calms my spirit like taking a walk with Jordan and Lucy in the woods.  If I have ever lived a perfect day, it was October 24.  

Friday, October 25, I got sick.  A week later, I am still coughing, congested, achy, and exhausted.  Sickness aside, the Leahy family had a bad week.  It was a one-thing-after-another kind of bad.  You know the kind.  

I'm sure you can relate to this, but being sick takes a toll on your psyche as well as your body.  It's hard feeling, and being, unable to  contribute to your household, your workplace, your world.  That familiar feeling of failure crept in and stayed.  Some of the week's events played into that feeling and, by this Thursday, I wanted to wallow in a puddle of I'm-good-for-nothings.  

At some point during the time I spent laying around and moaning, I stumbled across this Steinbeck quote from East of Eden:

And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good.

And then, this:

What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness?

The second quote is not, of course, from Eden, but from Travels with Charley: In Search of America.

I spent the better part of the last week with the first line churning in my mind.  I think the second quote gives some shape to my thoughts.  A bright and breezy 85 degree day in July is my idea of perfection. Yet if every single day was a sunny 85 with a light wind, I would find another kind of day more desirable. 

A few weeks ago, Jordan and I went to Shark Mountain Coffee Company in Charlottesville.  (If you live in the area, go there.  Take an entire afternoon and spend it there.  You'll thank me.)  The owner, a great guy named Jonny, explained that his aim is not to find the perfect cup of coffee, but to experience the diversity inherent in the beans, their regions, the processes by which they are roasted, and the method of brewing.  I think he made a powerful statement that extends far beyond coffee.  The attempt to achieve perfection requires that one place limitations on that which she tries to perfect as well as her own experience of it.   Perfection denies diversity and complexity.  In the case of coffee and so many other things, it denies creativity and ingenuity.

I think that perhaps finding the "good" in our lives and in our world requires that we stop trying to be perfect.  We really must stop trying to homogenize every aspect of our lives.  Life is a journey.  We're all going to have bad weeks.  More often than not, our failures will be the source of them.  But, as cliche as it is, we wouldn't know a good day without the bad.

And, miraculously, there is beauty everywhere everyday.  Even when we are sick or angry or hurt or are the perpetrator of hurt.  Now that we don't have to be perfect, we can see the raw, brilliant beauty bursting out from ourselves and our friends and the strangers on the street.  We can heal and we can forgive and be forgiven.  We can be good.  We can experience the goodness of being alive.

Case in point.  These muffins.  I put these into the muffin pan and into the oven before I put the flax "eggs" in them.  After they had been baking for a minute or so, I noticed the flax mixture on the counter, congealed in a bowl.  Expletives.  One leap to the oven, two steps to the bowl, six frantic scoops, tentative folds, six scoops, crossed fingers, batter back in the oven.

And I call myself a baker.  

Good.  Not perfect.  Right? 

Great news.  They turned out.  And they are good.  So good.

Apples, cardamom, ginger, a touch of cinnamon.  Yep, I'm officially in love with fall.

Whole Wheat Apple Muffins* with Cardamom and Ginger (vegan option)

(makes 12 muffins)

2 cups whole wheat flour (I used a mixture of white whole wheat and regular whole wheat)

1/3 cup brown sugar

1/3 cup white sugar 

2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

1 tsp cardamom

1/4 tsp cinnamon

6 tbs butter (for vegan, use Earth Balance sticks -- not tub)

2/3 cup butter milk (for vegan, combine 2/3 cup soy or almond milk and 1 1/2 tsp apple cider vinegar, allowing to curdle for 5 minutes before use)

1 tsp vanilla

2 eggs (for vegan, combine 4 tbs flax meal and 6 tbs warm water and allow to congeal for 3 to 5 minutes before use)

1 tbs fresh ginger, grated

2 small granny smith apples, chopped

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.  Spray or butter a muffin pan.

Combine dry ingredients by whisking them together in a large bowl.  

Melt butter in a small saucepan.  Turn off the heat and add buttermilk, whisking together.  Whisk in vanilla.  When the mixture is no longer hot, but is warm, whisk in eggs or flax "eggs."  

Make a well in the center of the dry mixture and pour the milk mixture into it.  Stir lightly with a spatula until the batter is fairly smooth, but not overmixed.  Fold in grated ginger and apples.  

Fill muffin tins 3/4 full. 

Bake for 18-20 minutes, until tops are firm, toothpick comes out clean and muffins are golden brown.  Allow to cool for 5 to 10 minutes before removing muffins from the pan

Eat for breakfast.  Then, take a drive to a quiet spot and go for a walk in the woods.  Breathe deep, you don't have to be perfect. 

*Inspired by and adapted from Sur La Table's Easy Morning Muffins found in The Art and Soul of Baking